Breastfeeding brings great benefits and pleasure to mother and baby. But night feedings are exhausting and deprive you of proper rest and strength. The luckiest mothers have babies who wake up 4-5 times a night to nurse. At some point, patience comes to an end. Mom decides it's time to end these night feedings.
How to wean your child off night feedings: where to start and what not to do. This will be discussed in this article.
How beneficial are night feedings?
Just a few decades ago, many doctors considered feeding a baby at night not only unnecessary, but also harmful. The last feeding according to the schedule took place at 12 am, and then there should be a break until 6 am. The older the child, the longer the break becomes.
However, as practice has shown, it is useful to carry out breastfeeding not by the hour, but on demand. The smaller the child, the more often he asks for the breast. A newborn and one-month-old baby cannot withstand long night breaks, and they do not have the best effect on lactation.
The more often you put your baby to the breast at night, the more milk is produced during the day, and the faster permanent lactation is established. Therefore, breastfeeding a baby at night is necessary, but up to a certain age. Many doctors believe that breastfeeding after one year is not advisable.
A child at this age already eats many foods, his immunity is formed, and further feeding is not necessary. Therefore, they recommend starting to wean your baby off breastfeeding (BF) after a year.
However, in reality, many mothers continue breastfeeding longer, up to two or even three years. After all, mother’s breast serves not only as a source of nutrition, but also calms the baby when he is scared, in pain, teething, or upset.
Breastfeeding experts say that even after a year, mother’s milk protects babies from various diseases, carries useful substances, and has a positive effect on the psyche of children.
How to wean your baby off night feedings
With each month, the amount of food the baby takes increases, and the frequency of feedings decreases. At some point, the mother is faced with the question of how to wean her child off night feeding, limiting herself to the daily diet.
Table of contents
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When to start
At first, the newborn sleeps a lot and eats often, obeying biological laws.
The baby's main diet for the first six months is breast milk or formula, which are easily processed by the intestines that are not yet fully formed.
In order for the baby to develop well and gain weight, it is necessary to maintain the daily norm of nutrients entering the body.
Full digestibility is ensured by fractional feeding, so in this case, night feeding cannot be avoided.
After 6 months, the diet becomes more varied, which leads to a change in diet. The daily menu includes dishes that should completely saturate the baby’s body.
From this point on, you can begin weaning off night meals. This is done gradually so as not to injure the baby - by the age of one year the child should already be sleeping at night.
When exactly to start weaning, each mother decides for herself, based on the individual development of the baby.
There are periods when innovation is undesirable:
- the baby is sick;
- he is teething;
- he is not gaining weight well;
- does not eat enough during the day;
- when transferring from breastfeeding to artificial feeding.
Unfavorable factors include changes in the situation, moving, and the summer season.
Feeding for a baby is a kind of protective mechanism that should not be deprived in unfavorable situations.
Mom's actions
Initially, the mother herself wakes up the child at night to feed him, following the schedule, and the little body quickly gets used to this.
It is not so easy to wean yourself off eating at night - the digestive system is accustomed to producing gastric juice at certain hours.
Therefore, it is impossible to change your diet suddenly - first you need a replacement alternative.
Phased weaning
• First, the mother rearranges the regimen so that after the 7th month breastfeeding is 2 times a day - at 6 a.m. and 10 or 11 p.m. During the day, the baby will be fed cereals and other complementary foods.
• The frequency of night feedings decreases, and the amount of milk at one time also decreases.
• Do not deliberately wake up your baby at night. You need to feed him a little if he wakes up on his own and is capricious.
• If the baby is fed formula, gradually the concentration of the composition for night feeding becomes weaker - each time there is more liquid and less formula.
• Sometimes it is enough to give some water to help the child fall asleep again.
• If the baby refuses water and demands to eat, you can replace the plain liquid with compote; it is better not to give breastfeeding or formula.
• Until the baby gets used to night feeding, it is advisable for him to sleep next to his mother. Sometimes children wake up not because they want to eat. In this case, it will be enough for the mother to stroke the baby so that he falls asleep again.
Regime restructuring is a long process that requires a lot of patience. At first, the child will be capricious and refuse the imposed conditions.
Useful tips for mothers: DIFFICULTIES RELATED TO FEEDING
Not every mother is able to withstand such pressure. Having followed the lead, she will not soon be able to wean the baby from night feeding.
If the child is not sick, it is enough to tolerate his whims for 10-15 minutes - he will gradually calm down and fall asleep.
Psychological impact
Not every child can be weaned off night feeding before 12 months. This is especially difficult to do with artificial babies who are used to sleeping with a bottle almost in an embrace.
Having started to practice the actions described above, the mother does not stop there, bringing a psychological approach to education.
At this age, children are already more susceptible to conventions, so it is better to turn night rest into a ritual:
• the baby is put to bed at the same time, teaching him to fall asleep on his own;
• the child should have his own bed, but if he is lonely there, you can put his favorite soft toy next to him;
• if the baby sleeps restlessly, pine baths are recommended, as well as decoctions and syrups for sleep;
• in the bedroom at night it is good to turn on weak, dim lights, even if the baby does not sleep for a long time;
• the signal for sleep will be a lullaby or a calm melody; it can be turned on at night when the baby wakes up - this will calm him down;
• play in bed should not be allowed;
• often the cause of waking up is dry, stuffy air in the room - the temperature in the room must be maintained at an optimal level;
• in order for the child to quickly realize that he will no longer be fed at night, it is worth changing some rules - now it is not his mother who puts him to bed, but his father or grandmother.
If the child is not given complementary foods immediately after a nap, his associative reflex will not be strengthened, and then it will be easier to refuse feeding at night.
When the baby begins to smack his lips or suck his finger in his sleep, this is a signal that he has not eaten enough during the day and the diet needs to be made more nutritious so that the daily menu is enough for a day.
Sometimes the baby does not sleep because he was overstimulated during the day by games or new experiences.
Staying awake for a long time will definitely provoke an attack of hunger. To avoid such a situation, all entertainment should be dosed, moving it to the first half of the day.
Experts' opinion
There are many different opinions about when to exclude night feeding, and how to do it correctly, not only among experienced mothers.
Each child education professional has developed his own methodology.
What does Komarovsky offer?
A favorite of many mothers, Dr. Komarovsky also gives his recommendations, suggesting a simple process for eliminating night feeding:
• you should not let your child sleep for a long time during the day - it is better to “exhaust” him thoroughly so that he can sleep better at night;
• it is better to bathe immediately before going to bed, and after water procedures, do a relaxing massage;
• strictly adhere to the rules from the first months, so that it is easier for the baby to get used to the desired regime.
The doctor also believes that only love and patience can achieve the desired results without damaging the psyche of the newborn.
Recommendations from American psychologists
• Psychologist Jody Miller believes that children should be weaned off nighttime meals after one year, while feeding them sufficient amounts during the day.
In his opinion, at night it is not the mother, but one of the relatives who should approach the awakened baby, so that there are no associations with feeding.
• Richard Ferber says it's mom's own fault for putting her baby to sleep during feeding.
He should not have the association that sleep is compatible with eating. If the baby falls asleep under the breast, he should be immediately put to bed without additional feeding.
• William Sears recommends that you do not feed your baby in bed, but always do it in a chair or on a chair outside the bedroom.
Gradually, the baby will get used to the fact that he needs to sleep while in the crib.
- about the author
- Recent publications
Tatiana Vasilyeva
author of the publication (site editor)
NURSE Mother of two daughters and grandmother of wonderful grandchildren.
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Is it worth weaning off?
It is impossible to accurately determine the age when it is necessary to wean a child from the breast. It is not controversial that breastfeeding
- Up to six months is considered mandatory
Mother's milk helps the newborn adapt to the world around him, provides protective substances against many diseases while the baby's immune system is not yet formed, and is the best nutrition.
- Up to one year – desirable
The baby’s immunity is still weak, complementary foods are just beginning to be introduced, and mother’s milk is better than any formula in terms of nutritional qualities and adaptation by the baby’s body.
- After a year, everything depends on the individual characteristics of the relationship between mother and child
However, we cannot still exclude the usefulness of mother’s milk for the child, and especially the psychological connection between baby and mother.
There are times when a child switches to regular food and easily gives up breastfeeding. But in most cases, the baby becomes so attached to his mother’s breast that it is very difficult to wean him off.
If a woman does not experience any difficulties associated with breastfeeding, she enjoys such closeness with the child, then there is no need to rush to wean the child from the breast.
There is no need to listen to the advice of friends, parents and other people; the mother must make a decision based on her feelings. It is only worth noting that psychologists do not approve of feeding after three years.
If a woman experiences difficulty breastfeeding, does not get enough sleep at night, has pain during feeding, and often needs to go away for a long time, then you can gradually stop feeding, especially when the child is over a year old.
How to prepare a child
The baby's readiness to give up breastfeeding is a very important point. When a child is not ready for a change, the weaning process can take a long time and be unsuccessful, or with an abrupt weaning, it can be painful for the child.
If the baby attaches to the breast very often at night and during the day, does not fall asleep without it, and after sleep immediately reaches for the breast, then he is clearly not ready to wean.
Before weaning your baby off breastfeeding, you need to prepare him. After all, during the time that the baby received his mother’s milk, the breast became for him not only a source of food, but also a special connection with his mother, his reassurance and protection from all the troubles of the world around him.
Therefore, there is no need to abruptly break such a connection. This can cause stress in the baby and psychological trauma; the child can even become physically ill, because stress reduces immunity.
Therefore, three months before the baby is completely weaned, you need to start adhering to a certain regimen. Gradually replace one daily feeding with regular food. Do not supplement your baby's feeding after breastfeeding; if necessary, give him something else to drink.
If a child seeks contact with his mother through sucking, then you need to try to distract him. Get interested in something, play together. If the child is old enough and understands what is being said to him, then you can explain to him that he is already an adult and his mother’s milk will soon run out. He needs to eat on his own like all adults, like mom and dad.
How to wean a baby from breastfeeding if he nurses all night?
1) First stop feeding during the day. If you can’t do it smoothly, stop abruptly. 2) If possible, seek help from your husband or someone else. 3) Monitor your sensations in your chest! Express when you feel hardening. 4) If you can’t pump, give your baby your breast at night. Even if you have already gone through one night without feeding... The next night you can give the baby one time from both breasts. In my experience, a sleepy child does not remember this event... At least that’s what I gave it, and it did not worsen our situation. But you definitely shouldn’t give breastfeeding during the day... Only in extreme cases. 5) Try different ways to calm your child. Carry him in your arms, give him water or compote, rock him in his crib, put him on you... Remember, these are all temporary measures! The main thing is to wean. 6) Remember, you only need to be patient for a few days. Maximum - a week.
Of course, all children are individual. Of course, this strategy will not suit everyone... I'm just talking about my experience. When you're thinking about how to wean your baby off breastfeeding, it's important to find out how other mothers have gone through it...
How has weaning changed our lives?
— We began to sleep at night!! Hooray!!! — My daughter has become more affectionate. Previously, the need for contact with the mother was completely satisfied through the breast, but now this is expressed in hugs, kisses and other tenderness. This was not the case before! “It became easier for me to be at home with her.” My daughter has become less capricious, and I am free of the discomfort associated with constant feeding.
But, of course, if you can feed longer, feed longer! After all, children receive our immunity through milk even after a year. Breastfeeding is convenient when visiting, on trips... Using the breast, you can instantly calm the baby. It helps with painful teething... Breastfeeding is great! And, to be honest, sometimes I miss a little the time when my daughter was peacefully hanging on my chest... But now these moments are replaced by other pleasant moments. When my daughter climbs on top of me, hugs me around the neck and falls asleep.
How to wean a child from breastfeeding? Tell us about your experience in the comments! At least very briefly!
How to wean correctly, without harm to the baby?
If the preparation for weaning has been successful, then usually only night feedings remain the last ones. During the day, the child eats regular food appropriate for his age and is distracted from the breast by other activities that are interesting to him.
It is important to maintain skin-to-skin contact with your child during this time. Hug him more often, play with him so that he does not feel left out.
To successfully wean a child from breastfeeding, you must:
- Get in tune with what you want to do
If you decide to cancel feedings during the day or later at night, then do not follow the child’s lead, no matter how much he asks. Be calm about his whims, gently but confidently refuse to give what he wants. At the same time, it would be nice to distract him with an interesting toy or a walk that he likes.
- Involve relatives (father, grandmother) to help overcome this situation
They should be understanding that mother and child are having a difficult time and help cope with the problems.
- It’s good if someone else takes over feeding the baby during the day so that the baby loses the association of food with his mother.
- It is important to feed your baby well during the day and, especially before bedtime , so that he has enough for the whole night and does not wake up from hunger.
- When canceling feedings at night, it is better if the father comes to the baby
He can offer him some water or another drink from a bottle or mug. If the child cries a lot, the father should try to calmly pick him up, carry him a little, and console him. The main thing is that adults remain calm, and the baby feels that everything is in order, as it should be. When breastfeeding is stopped, the baby quickly stops waking up frequently at night.
- If the baby is big enough, then you can resort to the “fairy tale” method.
A mother tells her child a story about why she won’t breastfeed. At night, ask to wait until the morning.
- If the baby asks for the breast because he sleeps next to him, you can start putting him to sleep in his own crib , and at night let him drink from a bottle or lie next to him for a while.
- In the evening, instead of putting your baby to your breast before going to bed, you can come up with a new ritual for putting him to bed , sing a song, tell a fairy tale or some instructive story to distract him from sucking.
- During this period , it will be better if the mother is wearing closed clothes so that the baby does not have the opportunity to reach the breast.
- During this difficult period , the child needs the attention and affection of his mother , so that he understands that refusing to breastfeed will not interrupt their connection, his mother loves him, she is nearby
Therefore, when the baby cries a lot at night, and dad cannot console him, mom can also take part, but there is no need to give breastfeeding.
How to wean a child from breastfeeding?
I quickly learned that there are only two main approaches to weaning. You can stop breastfeeding abruptly, in a few days, by simply stopping breastfeeding your baby... Or you can do it gradually. Slowly reduce the number of feedings. Of course, the second method is preferable. This method is ideal for both mother and baby. However, reducing feedings was very difficult. With a fight, I stretched the interval between applications to 3 hours... But then I finally gave up, and we returned to the breast again every hour and an hour and a half. I could hold the line for several days, constantly distracting the child... But no more. And when I thought about the need to increase the interval again to at least 4-5 hours... Depression came over me.
At night the situation turned out to be especially bad. Yes, I forgot to say that our daughter could easily fall asleep in the evening without a breast if I was not in sight. My husband rocked her safely in his arms within a few minutes. However, this performance took place only in the evening, not at night! For several nights we tried “breastfeeding less often,” rocking the baby in our arms in shifts. These attempts turned out to be a complete failure. For the first ten minutes my daughter was just screaming. And then I finally woke up and didn’t want to sleep anymore. What to do? How to wean a child from breastfeeding in such a situation?
How I weaned my baby from breastfeeding
But a way out was found! Moreover, our weaning turned out to be quite simple! Without crying, without any serious problems... The tactics were simple. Many authors advise to first get rid of night feedings... But for us this was unrealistic. Therefore, we got rid of the daytime ones, leaving all the nighttime ones. Moreover, they got rid of it abruptly... Taking advantage of a short vacation trip.
We went to rest at a boarding house. For a week. This is an optional item in the program, but it helped us a lot. It is quite possible to do the same thing at home if there is another person nearby - a husband, grandmother or someone else. At the boarding house, we decided to breastfeed the baby only when I felt that I definitely needed to pump. I couldn’t express myself at all. So on the first day I fed three times.
The first day was unpleasant for me. Pain in the chest, overflowing with milk... But it had to be endured. We only had a week. During this week, my daughter should have gotten out of the habit of breastfeeding during the day. What did we do when she wanted to taste milk? They simply distracted her. Both my husband and my mother were on vacation. They took turns taking the child somewhere... The boarding house had so many new and interesting things for the baby that the daughter did not throw hysterics. Although, of course, the first few days could not be called very easy.
On the second day, I already better understood how to wean my baby from breastfeeding. That day my daughter received milk only twice. On the third day - also twice. On the fourth and fifth days - just once each... And then I didn’t feed at all during the day. Surprisingly, night feedings also decreased on their own. Only 2-4 times per night. Instead of 5-7...
However, how to stop feeding at night? How to wean your baby from night feedings?
A week later, when we returned home, my daughter completely stopped asking for the breast during the day. Even if I was alone at home with her. I remember how worried I was before the first night when we decided to go without breasts... But everything went quite calmly. Yes, I got up 5 times, but there were no hysterics, my daughter fell asleep again when I carried her in my arms or rocked her in the crib... Each time I gave her a little water to drink. Apparently, it was due to the fact that the child had already lost the habit of sucking the breast constantly. And he began to be much more loyal to other means of calming.
After a few nights, the baby learned to fall asleep without rocking. She just lay on top of me and soon fell asleep. For some time (3-4 days), she slept well only in our bed, cuddled up to me. But it was still better than constant feeding. And then my daughter began to wake up less and less often... A week after weaning, she was already sleeping well in her crib. And now he wakes up no more than 1-2 times...
Sharply or gradually
When children are ready for such a change, stopping breastfeeding is easy and quick. They may occasionally remember sucking, but their attention can easily be diverted to something else. Then there will be no difficulties. The baby stops asking for the breast on his own. But this doesn't happen often.
Young mothers, deciding to give up breastfeeding, do not know what is best to do: stop breastfeeding abruptly or gradually.
Some women think that it is better to suffer once and that’s it – the job is done. What's best for a child? How will he survive such a test? Let's try to figure it out.
Abrupt weaning
Sometimes mothers, when weaning a child from the breast, are guided by the principle of abrupt weaning. They take the baby to one of the close relatives for a while or leave themselves so that he forgets about the breast. And they take him away in a few days, when he gets used to sucking.
Some children tolerate this method quite easily. But not all. In addition, the child may, at the sight of his mother, again remember the breast and cry, demanding it from the mother.
Most often, abruptly weaning a baby from breastfeeding does not have the best effect on him.
If a child is under 6 months old, this can have a bad effect on his physical health, so six-month-old babies should not be deprived of their mother’s milk.
Mother's milk is the best food for a baby up to six months, which provides him with all the necessary nutrients and vitamins.
In addition, with mother's milk, the baby receives substances that protect him from a number of diseases, because his own immunity has not yet been formed. Conversion to even the best mixture is not advisable. Therefore, you should not abruptly stop breastfeeding before six months unless there are serious reasons.
After six months, when the child begins to try complementary feeding, it is also not advisable to suddenly stop breastfeeding the baby. If there is a need to wean a child under the age of one year, then it is better to gradually prepare him for this.
After one year of age, the nutritional and protective value of mother's milk decreases somewhat, but is still relevant. At this age, psychological attachment to mother's breast increases. If the child is ready for weaning, then you can take this step. But if not, then it is better to wean him gradually.
Abrupt weaning is justified if the mother is sick and was admitted to the hospital, or other unforeseen circumstances arise. Then it is necessary to take care of the baby’s appropriate nutrition and his psychological state.
When do babies' first teeth appear and in what cases should we be concerned?
What to do if milk is lost - how to resume lactation?
Phased weaning
It is best if cessation of breastfeeding is done in stages. This will help both the baby and the mother gradually get used to changes in their usual routine, without injuring anyone. The following stages can be distinguished when gradually abandoning breastfeeding:
- Gradually replacing breast milk with regular food during the day
This stage is good to start after the introduction of complementary foods. Its duration may be related to the individual characteristics of the child’s adaptation to solid food.
- The next step is to stop feeding the child during the day after meals or to calm him down.
- Before napping, feed your baby well and take him for a walk so that he gets tired and falls asleep without breastfeeding.
- Feed your baby well before bed in the evening to help him sleep better at night.
You can supplement with breastfeeding if you can't fall asleep otherwise. Later, replace breastfeeding before bed with a story or a walk, which will help the baby fall asleep.
- The last step on the path to completely abolishing breastfeeding is stopping feeding at night.
Each mother needs to decide for herself which method to use when weaning a child, based on what suits them best.
Restless nights during weaning
You cannot wean your baby from the breast if he is sick or recovering from an illness. It also needs to be postponed when major changes occur in the child’s life - moving, entering kindergarten, or the mother going to work. If such a situation is planned, then weaning should occur several months earlier or later, so that the total volume of changes does not become too difficult for the child’s psyche. After all, weaning will be a lot of stress for the child, and the situations listed above add anxiety.
One of the most recommended methods is the mother leaving home or leaving the child with someone. This is not recommended, because if the child is not used to being separated from his mother, then the disappearance of both her and breastfeeding at once can have a very bad effect on the child’s condition. There is a very high risk that when the mother returns back, the baby will not only not forget about breastfeeding, but will also become even more attached.
It is also practiced to smear the nipples with something bitter, for example, mustard or frightening; brilliant green is usually used for this. Moreover, the mother herself may suffer, because these substances can burn the breasts or irritate the delicate skin of the breasts. And for a child, this can cause such severe stress that sometimes there are people who, already in adulthood, experience an insurmountable aversion to the substance that their mother once smeared on their breasts for weaning.
Sometimes night breastfeeding is replaced with a bottle of milk or sweet water. This method works, the child actually does not experience stress, but there is only one problem - caries may eventually develop, this also needs to be remembered.
When weaning, it is very important not to lose sight of the child’s condition and your own. If your baby shows signs of stress, e.g. sleeps restlessly and often wakes up at night, does not “stick” to the mother during the day, bites - if this has not happened before, this usually means that the cessation of feeding is progressing too quickly for the child. If the mother has accumulated fatigue, she is nervous, and feels that her chest is very full, then this is a sign that the weaning is going on too quickly for her.
The best thing to do is to do everything gradually. You should start by reducing the number of applications during the day. The main thing to take care of is to minimize all situations that may remind the baby about feeding. In other words, you should not change clothes in front of your child, walk around in underwear, or give up clothes with zippers in favor of T-shirts.
In addition, the mother should not sit idle in the presence of the child, since this is usually a signal for the child to climb into her arms and attach to the breast. You should also avoid situations in which breastfeeding would normally occur. For example, previously the child could feed while the mother was talking on the phone, but now she needs to either go to talk in another room or finish everything as quickly as possible.
When you shouldn't wean
There is no need to stop breastfeeding during the period of illness or recovery of the child, if he has experienced a stressful situation, when moving to a new home. Weaning is also not recommended during the hot season due to the risk of intestinal infections.
It is better to do this during the warm period (spring, autumn), but not during viral epidemiological situations. After all, mother's milk is the best protection against viruses and prevention of intestinal infections.
Do not rush to wean your child if he is not psychologically ready for the change.
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How to suppress lactation
Another sign of the possibility of weaning your baby from breastfeeding is involution, that is, a natural decrease in lactation. If a woman has not fed her baby all day, and by the evening her breasts are not engorged and remain soft, then lactation is fading.
Most often this happens when the child is 1.5 - 2.5 years old. It's time to start weaning.
In case of sudden cessation of lactation, special drugs can be used to suppress it. To do this, you should first consult a doctor. It is worth observing the drinking regime.
However, there is no need to tighten the breast with a tight bandage against the background of a stable milk supply. This can cause blockage of the mammary glands and mastitis.
With gradual weaning, lactation gradually decreases. Milk begins to be produced less and less and over time its production stops completely. It may be necessary to temporarily reduce the amount of liquid you drink per day.
If the baby is weaned and the milk has arrived and there is a feeling of fullness and soreness, then you need to express the milk a little to avoid the development of mastitis. You just need to express quite a bit until you feel relief. After some time, lactation will decrease and stop.
Recommendations from experts
Even ten years ago, pediatricians argued that it was necessary to stop breastfeeding within a year.
Many have a very negative attitude towards the fact that a large one-year-old or even two-year-old child demands his mother’s breast in a public place.
However, in the modern world, breastfeeding standards are closer to the natural state. According to current WHO recommendations for the baby and mother, continued feeding is considered physiological and natural until 2 years of age and longer.
It is argued that you need to look not at the date, but at the psychological state of the child, his readiness for such a serious step.
Psychologists and specialists note that children endure significant changes in life more easily if they feel their parents’ confidence in this step. Often mothers subconsciously do not want to give up breastfeeding, and experience its withdrawal more difficult than the child, losing their indispensability.
Children very quickly find other entertainment for themselves. Therefore, when stopping breastfeeding at night, the mother must be sure of the need for this herself, otherwise she will only upset the baby and herself.
